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The Stanley Parable: This is not a game review.

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Play The Stanley Parable. Or don’t.

If you don’t choose to play The Stanley Parable, then you will not be playing The Stanley Parable and the only real outcome of not playing The Stanley Parable is not understanding why it’s a bad decision for choosing not to play The Stanley Parable.

Playing The Stanley Parable will reveal to you that the choice to play The Stanley Parable was the best choice you have made all day. If, for some reason, you have failed to experience this feeling of correctness for having made the choice to play The Stanley Parable, please make sure that you are, in fact, a real person.

After you have properly examined yourself to find that you are, indeed, a real person and you still do not feel that you have made the correct choice in playing The Stanley Parable, it is possible that you are in denial about your non-existential nature.

Believing that you should be real while simultaneously being aware of the possibility that you are not real can lead you to, but are not limited to, experiencing the following symptoms:
  • confusion
  • panic
  • nausea
  • dizziness
  • giddiness
  • unwarranted laughter
  • warranted laughter
  • sudden sadness after laughing
  • bitter scorn of the ephemeral nature of the universe
  • implosive flatulence*.

If you are experiencing these side effects and your consciousness has not collapsed into a quantum singularity, please contact the local authorities about your existential malfunction.

Or, you can just play The Stanley Parable again until you experience the correct feeling.

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*implosive flatulence is caused when your intestinal bacteria has experienced an existential crisis and collapsed into a quantum singularity. There is no associated odor for this phenomena.

4 notes video games review the stanley parable

Vector NES Cartridge

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(CLICK IMAGE LINK FOR LARGE VERSION)

This is a very large (1359x1523) vector graphic of an NES Cart with a custom label for a podcast that I used to host and produce. 

I painstakingly recreated every bit of detail of an NES cartridge as best as I could. I also made sure the label looked like it was from a classic NES game, making sure the little stars were in the same place, the colors the same, the font similar, etc. 

The cat is inspired by the dog from Duck Hunt, holding up a microphone instead of a duck. I called him “Pod-Cat”.

2 notes vector art pixel art vectors nes nintendo cartridge nintendo entertainment system

3D Dot Game Things

Way back in 2009, there was a game coming out for the PS3 called 3D Dot Game Heroes. It was essentially a love letter to the original Zelda and other 8-bit fantasy titles of the day with 3D pixel graphics. I fell in love with it as soon as I heard about it. 

While reading about it on various blogs, I heard of a 3D Dot character making web app called Q-Block. I then proceeded to go nuts making characters. 

Isaac Clarke from Dead Space

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7 notes 3d dot game heroes voxel art mega man tom servo mst3k isaac clarke dead space sackboy little big planet super meat boy pyramid head silent hill doom pinky demon cacodemon doom marine doom imp

Squished animated .gifs

Side note here. Why are my animated .gifs showing up on my dashboard all squished-up horizontally? I’ve tried various image sizes and it’s always the same. However, it does show up fine on my blog itself. Weird.